Movie Review: Rambo

The movie that came out last year. Not the one from the 80's.

Ok, they saw Saving Private Ryan and decided they could make a war film with that kind of violence, but not as subtle. And with lesser quality CGI. Gratuitous.

And you've never seen a war movie with that much .50 cal action. I've never seen the results of what happens when .50 hits a person, but I have a feeling it doesn't look like that.

That said, at least there are no explosive tipped arrows with matchbox size charges exploding like C-4, but with more flame and flash like it came out of a 55 gallon drum of gasoline fumes.

The movie seems more believable because I remember how unbelievable and escapist fantasy the last 2 or three Rambo movies were, so that was kind of nice. Stallone was broody, but this wasn't an expose of how well he worked out, like before. In other words, he doesn't go around shirtless. Thanks for that, Sly. Beefcake in movies is not my cut of double shot decaf mocha frappachini with skim milk and Splenda(tm).

I mean coffee. BLACK.

What can I say? I like my coffee like I like my men. Hot, strong, and black.


BACK to the movie.

Here is the new and improved grizzled broody Rambo:

While this is old-school Rambo:

They had to have the bad guys seem like bad guys. When the movie came out the cyclone hadn't hit Burma, and no one in this country knew that a brutal junta had ruled the place for decadez. So they had to establish the enemy for Rambo as REALLY evil. The movie made it seem like they had a list of every legendary atrocity written down and were just systematically going through it like a punch list. "Ok we got rape. We got shooting helpless prisoner. We got wagering on suicidal minefield herding... We need to toss a baby on a bayonet or a fire or something."

The mercenaries that are sent to help Rambo with the kidnapped missionaries (well, Rambo helped them, sorta) had a nice collection of military rifles. I can't rattle off the types on sight, but I'm pretty sure one was a HK G3. I've been seeing a lot of those around these days. Bad guys had the ubiquitous AK-47, the preferred weapon of your enemy. It makes a distinctive sound. (Marine Recon guys I have known HATED that Eastwood movie...) There was a sniper .50 caliber rifle, naturally. Magazine fed, too.

A decent netflix rental, but I'm glad I didn't spend money on it in the theater. Ultra-violent, if that's not your cup of tea. More killing in this one than the other 3 combined. And that was off-putting. Like nude scenes, I like violence to be integral to the plot...