Sunday, October 26, 2008

Future America

I had a vivid dream last night. It was more of a vision. A Prophecy! A glimpse into the future…

In the vision I am Khan of the Peppery Horde. Riding against roving brigands, Amazons, Ninja-Mummies, Acid-Spitting Mutants, CHUDS, Zombie Clowns, Cursed Pirates in Dirigibles, Thyme Bandits, the Eloi/Morlock Alliance, Krishna Kommandos, and Molemen armies. Oddly enough, the Sleestaks died out early. I guess they freaked EVERYONE the heck out and were unmercifully preyed upon, early.






Why Pepper? Because I had the foresight to prepare for the coming Apocalypse with several 5 gallon buckets full of peppercorns that I then used for barter as I built up my Empire. The Golden Horde was based on a gold economy. Thus, the Peppery Horde is based on a… what economy?


If you qualify Expert rifleman you get an extra measure of Peppercorns in your pay. Which is kind of ironic because the origin of the word Salary is from the Latin word for salt. And salt was a means of paying Legionnaires back in Ceasar’s time.


Pockets of civilization in this vision are marked by temples to Cthullhu or ziggurats to the FSM (may his noodly appendage bless you and keep you). It all sort of looked like that Hanna Barbera cartoon “Thundar the Barbarian” but the moon wasn’t cracked in two. The face of the moon DID have a portrait of Ronald Reagan carved on it. Smiley Reagan. Putting him on Mt Rushmore wasn’t enough of a tribute to the Gipper, so they carved a bust of W out there. I was given to understand that the far side of the moon had Angry Reagan on it to scare away aliens. It must have worked because there were no aliens.


We didn’t ride ponies in our Horde, but Mad Max style post-apocalyptic automobiles. Many decked out with Obama bumper stickers. Not in support, but to scare and intimidate our enemies with the memory of what caused the end-times.

Mohawks, tattoos, leather pants, platform shoes, and Steampunk styling were the norm.

3 comments:

  1. Gee, that's funny. I always have to one where I'm standing at the top of an Incan style pyramid in Roman togas with thousands of naked women at the bottom throwing pickles at me.

    Why am I the only one who has that dream.

    ReplyDelete
  2. And in the immortal words of Socartes, who was known to have said...

    "I drank what?"

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dude! You were ridin' out against Airship Pirates? Bummer. I had the dream, too -- sorry about the Nagant pistol incident. I swear I was amin' at the guy next to you. Honest!

    (Veriword: Inqua: like the Inca but they put on airs)

    ReplyDelete

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