How Many

Have you ever been asked, “How many guns do you own?”

Breda mentioned some hoplophobic hysterics where one sheep complained about a possible RNC chairman named Blackwell when the GOP leader-hopeful mentioned he had 7. She takes cowardly leftist to task, naturally, for such a pants-soiling whinefest. (Blackwell may or may not make a good chairman, but that’s beyond the scope for this blog entry.)


I like Fred Thompson’s response during the campaign at a candidate debate when asked a similar question. Essentially, “I own a couple, but I’m not gonna tell you what they are or where they are.”

Two types of people ask me that question. People that like guns ask it as a preface to, “COOL! Let’s see ‘em. I’ve never handled a Thunderblurfl and was half thinking of getting one for myself! Do you like it? How bout that one? How does it shoot?” etc.

And people that hate guns ask me as a presage to castigate me, insinuating I am insecure, or mentally unstable, or what have you. Especially idiotic, hypocritical, leftist associates, and they know who they are.

To avoid the second type, I have a stock answer. “I own one of each. And a spare.” That works fine after you get a 4-gun system: Pistol, Rifle, Shotgun, .22. If pressed, I say, “I have enough to teach you how to shoot. Do you want me to take you to the range tomorrow?” If pressed again, I lie about the number, outlandishly, “Hundreds! It may be over a thousand by now! Don’t surprise me! The police let me take home the pile after a big Gun Buyback program! Some have probably been used in crimes! I’m a member of the NRA and they send us free samples all the time.”

I only do that to highlight their unreasonable question. It’s none of their business, or anyone’s really, and I wouldn’t do it if there were any chance I could convince them of necessity for the respect owed to the Bill of Rights. They are lost causes, and would vote for Breznhev over Reagan if the opportunity came up.

So, tip for politicians that are proponents of the Second Amendment and own at least 3 guns: When asked about it, say, “Guns? I have one of each. And a spare,” and leave it at that. If you have one or two just say you have a gun and stop there.