Wednesday, October 30, 2019

Rome again, Rome again, giggity gig

I used to think Caligula was the worst Roman emperor and Nero second worst, but I am beginning to change my mind.  No longer so sure.

I was familiar with the antic of Little Boots and Nero, and familiarity breeds contempt.  The ones I, personally, was unfamiliar with are as bad or worse.

Tiberius, before Nero, had a lot of bad press after death.  He'd diddle little boys and kick em off a cliff into the sea when he was done with them.  But he was probably only a child rapist, not child murderer.  The histories were unkind to all the bad emperors and probaby exagerrated the negatives quite a bit.  But even if you discount a lot of the reports these are all bad.
Commodus.  Joaquin Phoenix.  Concentrated on being a gladiator and thusly ran the empire into the ground.  You know how Phoenix played him in the movie?  He actually toned it DOWN from the reality. 
Caracalla? Awful
Elagabus? Also.

They were all either:

Murderous, delusional, tryannical, perverts, or,
Murderous, psychopathic, tryannical, perverts, or,
Murderous, sociopathic, tryannical, perverts, or,
In one case, a murderous, paranoid, tryannical, pervert.

And by 'pervert', I don't mean sexual deviants your great grandma would be horrified by, or YOU would disapprove of, but perverts by their own contemporary Roman standards.  And, in many ways, Rome was much more loosey goosey the the more libertine 5% of modern society.

The usual common motif is a early 20's or younger boy was given absolute power and had noother authority that could temper his impulses.  And that power corrupted him.

So, how to you measure the WORST emperor?  Body count by genocide?  Caracalla?  Reigned the longest so had the longest time to sap an empires resources?  Commodus?  Craziest?  Caligula.

And I am only up to the mid 3rd Century. 

6 comments:

  1. Have you ever read the book by Robert Graves "I, Claudius" pn which the PBS series was based on?

    ReplyDelete
  2. The History Of Rome podcast had a 5 best/5 worst Emperor list. The bad ones are similar to your list.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_History_of_Rome_(podcast)

    Good podcast.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Worst emperor: Justinian I. Destroyed and depopulated the Western empire. Stripped the legions from the middle east to do so, allowing the rise of Mohammed and his religion of terror. The remarkably weird and petty (to our modern eyes) partisan politics of the church under his care do not add to his reputation, nor to the long term well being of the faith.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Still, like many elites, their perversions were way outside the norm for the common people. Tour average Roman looked down on Greeks for being pedos. "Great thinkers, to bad they're pervs," was the general attitude. Also, homosexuality was a capital offense in the Legions.

    The decline of the Roman Empire was largely because of the decline in their leadership. No surprise there.

    ReplyDelete
  5. These are some of the reasons why the founders made the age for the presidency 35.

    ReplyDelete

I reserve the right to delete patently offensive comments. Or, really, any comment I feel like. Or I might leave a really juicy comment up for private ridicule. Also spammers.

You can always offend hippies in the comment section. Chances are, those will be held up as a proper example...