Zombies

We, at work, in those brief snatches of time when the machinery pauses and we can grab a quick exchange of non-work related ideas in conversation (we are BUSY after all, earning our $40 a week, as is standard), sometimes ponder aloud over the ideal anti-zombie sidearm.

I'm of a mind to keep it simple. Zombies shamble. You need accuracy but not necessarily power. You just have to get through the skull. .22 LR is good enough for that, and I have lots of ammo for it.



Others at work are taken in by the new, the novel, the latest 'thing'. They turn to gadetry for their salvation. I must admit I am tempted a bit by their reasoning. They like a new round and new gun, called the FN FiveseveN. It's a pistol that fires the same 5.7x28 rounds as the FN P90 sub-machine gun. Essentially a .22 with a bit more OOoomph to it.

It's not so good against bad guys, that round, but it'd be great against zombies, admittedly. So what is the downside? Well, the ammunition isn't commonly available, and a box of 50 will cost you over $30. You can get 1000 rounds of .22 for that, easy. .45 ACP costs as much, round per round, so you might as well use that for the cost factor if you want something bigger than .22. And THEN you might as well get the cheaper 9mm or .40. Here's a pic, left to right - 9mm, 5.7, .45:

So clearly, the 5.7x28 is all about the high velocity accuracy and energy. A stilleto to the .45's warhammer. So I'm not knocking it's zombie effectiveness, but I still dunno about it's bad-guy anit-Jacobin effectiveness.

Ok, ammo cost and availability aside, what does the FN FiveseveN have going for itself in the fight against hordes of undead? Well the magazine holds 20 rounds. That's nice. Especially for the whole MANY zombie pouring toward you like molasses in January. I looked around for picture and found a few reviews, includ Du Toit's. What the...? It DOES look like a toy! Aw, man! If zombies see this thing they will laugh at me. And that's a neat trick since their higher brain functions are pretty much mush and you need those to appreciate aesthtics, or lack there of. I mean, LOOK:

Styling by Fischer Price. Kim Du Toit thinks Mattel. Either way. It's a toy. Or looks it. The P90 looks a little silly too. I'm just gonna go for something like this when the zombies come:








Or even something like this:


Both are .22. Both are plenty accurate. And the revolver, while it only shoots 6, will never jam. The Browning Buckmark (not THAT expensive, even in this fancy configuration) will hold lots on its magazine and reload fast. Guess what? They were both already on The List. My loyal readers (both of them) know that new things for the sake of newness doesn't often sway my opinion and draw me from my Luddite tendendcies. Which is why I enter my blog entries on a manual typewriter. I don't trust new fangled technology. Drat these computers...

Update: Co-worker Corky promises a rebuttal.

Update 2: And he did. To the topic below this one, but it is ABOUT this one. Corky is special. You know, "everyone get's a hug at the end of the race" special.