Stress?

 Am I under stress?

Assuredly.

I've been essential worker since the start.  Working in an office constantly throughout.  Didn't miss work (until RIGHT now), didn't miss a paycheck.  Been very lucky that way.  Couple dozen in my building alone have come up positive for Covide.  No bad outcomes from the recovered, a few are in transit, so to speak.  

Many folks were given the option to stay home.  Their job didn't require they touch office machines, or they could stay home while others, like me, carried the load.  Which isn't as bad as it sounds.  These folks were the ones with other health issues, or just plain scared.  

I noticed prior military service folks just rolled with it.  Generally.  Didn't take the free days off.  Folks that had already thought about their mortality at work and from work, I guess, long before they landed in a civilian office job.  At least the WuFlu virus wasn't burying explosives under their parking space, or sniping from hidey holes in the woods, or lobbing inaccurate rockets sporadically at them.   For me, I wasn't going to fall off the office unnoticed and drown or get sucked into any machinery.  

So, there is that.  Plus the stress of this surgery.  Right?  Christmas alone, after.

And the non-disease news in the paper is ugly-ugly.  

The question is, how bad?  How bad is this stress?  That I, personally, am experiencing.  Am I doing ok? 

Well, it's hard to self diagnose.  I think I am rolling with it alright.  But I am no shrink.  I could melt down into a puddle.  Do a Hawkeye from the last episode of M*A*S*H.  Fall apart.  Or get PTSD symptoms, even mild.  I'd sleep great if my back didn't ache so.  

I am not witnessing any death.  Or death of people I know.  

What am I doing instead of doomscrolling?  Reading fiction on a Kindle.  Often in setting from 100 years ago.  In the car I listen to podcasts, when I commute.  History ones, read short stories, and Old Time Radio.  I drink less, because of the pain and subsequent need to be less fat in physical therapies and be healthier in all the recent doctor visits.  So more self-care.  Unless it is a Zoom happy hour.  Then a little Basil Hayden gets savored.

You take care of yourself, too.