Why Now?

What is causing the zombie outbreak from South Beach to Joppatowne (to Yonkers?) now?

I blame chemicals released by the Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing Corporation.  It's always some faceless evil Corp!  Ask any DemaCommie.

Notice how they say it was "bath salts" that caused it?  Always in quotes.  Chemicals!  Called "bath salts" because 3M has something to hide!

And, by Great Odin's Raven, whatever you do, don't stick a Post It note to your skin!  That's the riskiest thing you can do.  Sheesh, they won't let a car on the road if it doesn't have seat belts, crumple zones, safety glass, and expensive airbags but Post Its are practically unregulated.

(Hey...  If cars are too unsafe to be sold in this country without all that safety falderol, why are new motorcycles legal?)