It's too HARD

It's too hard to drag my butt to the voting booth 2 blocks away. It's too difficult to look into what each candidate stands for. This happens twice a year sometimes! I live in a state that mainly votes straight one party anyway, so why bother? The result is almost as predetermined as the sun rising in the east.

It's too hard to speak out against injustice. March in a demonstration downtown? I'd have to take the subway to do that. What a pain. They never have enough porta potties at those things. What if I have to pee? Or worse... the OTHER thing. Numbah Too. Ick.

Why do I have to obey the law if THOSE guys over there don't have to? It's not like I'm violating IMPORTANT laws, just the little ones. And if I don't get caught, and no one is looking, does it really matter?

And jury duty?!!! You've GOT to be kidding. I'll just lie and fill out the questionnaire saying I'm prejudiced against various races and creeds. That'll get me out of it. I'd rather be at work.

Why do I have to learn how to shoot a rifle? I mean, besides to hunt deer and such. Do you expect me to shoot people? People?!! What could someone do to me that would put me in a place where I would have to go out with a rifle and shoot at them? Do you know how hard it is to get good with a rifle anyway? It takes practice, and practice means ammo, and ammo costs BIG bucks. If some Canadian, or Belgian, or a domestic Flat Earth Cult, or some Nepalese with Jacobin tendencies, wants to be in charge of this country bad enough, maybe we should let 'em. What's the worst that could happen to us? And more importantly, what's the worst that could happen to me? If it get's real bad or something once they are in charge, I'll complain then. They'll have to listen then, right?

I just want the privileges, why do you have to throw in the responsibilities? Just gimme. Give me what I got comin' to me. I'm entitled. And no, I don't wanna pay.