Raccoon City

After seeing Tam’s retro send up to Raccoon City, that zombie infested urban center made famous in the Resident Evil movies, song lyrics popped into my head, unbidden. Sung to the tune of the Gospel of No-Name City from the hit musical Paint Your Wagon.

You have to imagine in your head the dulcet voices of Clint Eastwood and Lee Marvin, the latter know for having a voice “that sounds like rain coursing down a rusty drainpipe.”

The Gospel of Raccoon City


You wanna see the dead, walking around?
Here it is!
You wanna see zombie gourmands goin to town?
Here it is!
Alice is nice
And nice to ya.
Unless you’re a Zed, then it’s Boo-YA!
Here it is!
I mean, here it is!

You wanna live ‘death’ in the rottenest city?
Here it is!
ainipulated by the Red Queen, treated as Prey
Here it is!
You wanna work for Umbrella Corp.?
Until the T-Virus gets ya, then you morph?
Here it is!
I mean, here it is!

Raccoon City
Raccoon City
There’s plenty of things to fear.


Raccoon City
Raccoon City
Your reckoning day is near.

Raccoon City
Raccoon City
You’ve at least escaped The Hive

Raccoon City
Raccoon City.
But you’ll never get out alive.

Raccoon City
Raccoon City
Here’s what you’re gonna do

Around THIS town.
Shamblors gobble you down
And good bye to you

Will you leave the place?
Or burn in nuclear fire?
Either move fast, or suffer their ire.

Umbrella will take care of Raccoon City
Comes the end, and it won’t be pretty
Here it is!
I mean, here it is!

Here it is!
I mean, here it is!

Here it is!
I mean, here it is!
Kaboom!


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