Euphemisms

When I first started getting into guns and started this blog 6 or so years ago, I, of course, found like minded people at work to discuss said hobby around the watercooler in our cube farm.  Now, one of the guys, co-workers, is a bit of a ass, and has no inside voice.  EVERYTHING IS AT TOP VOLUME with that guy.  And it's a big office with a politically diverse workforce where we work cheek to jowl.  I didn't want some shrinking violet hoplophobe to get on the blower with HR and go, "Is this Human Resources?  I think T-Bolt and The Mouth are gonna get a buncha guns and shoot up the office!  Please alert the constabulary post haste."

So I managed to impress upon The Mouth and other, quieter, gun enthusiasts that maybe we should discuss the hobby in euphemisms.  What to use?  Well, at gun shows, they sell guns.  They ALSO sell beef jerky.  So, let's go with that theme.  "I'm going to the store to pick up my new beef jerky maker.  The M1A model dehydrator with a Leupold accessory." or, "I'm going to Hap Baker to consume some serious beef jerk this weekend, and to see if my beef jerky maker is working properly." or "have you seen the price of strip steak, even at WalMart, since December?!!" or "How can the gummint ban my beef jerky maker for being too high capacity?  What if the situation calls for lots of beef jerky" or "I'm going to the Northcoast Beef Jerky Enthusiast Jubilee on Labor Day but first the National Beef Jerk Association convention is in Pittsburg this spring."

See?

Generally, anyone interested in beef jerk that overhears our conversation would not be against firearm.  People that are anti-gun have little interest in beef jerky and ignore us.

That was then.  Now sensibilities are a bit more inflamed.  But no matter.  My new boss is a HUGE gun nut that commutes from Rural Pennsylvania, and everyone knows.  He talks about guns in the office all the time and has no idea I have more than a passing interest.  He is also quite amiable.  His pleasant demeanor takes any heat off of me.  So he's the canary in the coal mine.  If trouble comes from his talk he will be my tell tale to keep gun chat more on the down low.   

You all have canaries in your respective coal mines, right?  That's the dude in your office that is a screw up.  The one that comes in late, takes long lunches, and leaves early.  The one that gets fingered first when its time for layoffs.  You have to figure out who your canary is.  If you can't... well...  it's like poker.  If you sit down to play poker and don't know who the pigeon at the table is, the pigeon is you.  Keep your resume polished.