Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Keep Your Stinkin Paws Offa Me

You damn dirty gun grabber!

The latest Planet of the Apes movie has an anti-gun message?  Well, that makes me less likely to seek out the movie and watch it, now.

Super intelligent monkeys at war with us Humans?  I'd think that would be a better argument for universal rifle ownership AND mandatory training. 

I've never liked monkeys.  I never understood why Human's urge to kill off Neanderthals didn't extend to monkeys.  At least the bigger kinds, chimps, orangutuans, gorillas.  See what happens?  They get super intelligent and go to war with us.  If spiders could grow to the size of housecats there would be a concerted effort to extinctify them, too.  Anyway, a species that represents an existential threat?  You don't want that on the same planet.

Now, the important question:  What caliber for smart-monkey warfare?  These are animals that might be able to take more punishment than a man.  5.56 and 9mm might not be enough.  More 'ammunition' for fans of 7.62x51mm and .45ACP, again.  Great.  But if 9mm wasn't enough to stop a drug crazed Moro looking to end Yankee imperialism in the Phillipine, it sure isn't gonna work against a Mountain Gorilla outside Woodley Park.


New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

And I don't care HOW much Shakespeare they can write.

Knucklehead said...

If I never would have gone to see it anyway, does that still count as boycotting it?

Windy Wilson said...

Are you saying that the makers of the movie have Shakespeare-quoting Apes and ignorant thuggish humans?
Or is this a reference to "put the monkeys in a room with typewriters" cliche' we used to hear about?

Bubblehead Les. said...

Well, since we can't use Shotguns for Zeds, can we use them against Face-Eating Apes?

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

The latter, Windy.

No Mas said...

Just think how mad the monkeys are going to be after what Michael Jackson did to Bubbles the Chimp.

David said...

Spiders? Yeah.

I have a friend who is so arachnaphobic that I was actually GLAD we were in Illinois and temporarily disarmed when, on the return drive from the St. Louis NRA Annual Meeting, a spider crawled into the passenger floor between his feet.

Had he had his gun on him, I am quite sure I would have had a half-dozen .38 holes in the floorboard of my truck!

As it was, it is fortunate that the door lock on my truck was unfamiliar to him, or he'd have had the door open and bailed out before I could get stopped.