Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Myths About Guns

JayG referenced Ambulance Driver, who had posted about myths about the gun enthusiast community.

JayG is a long time member of the Gun Nut fraternity, I am a mere dabble and a n00b. But I needed blog material, I have an opinion I am unafraid to broadcast, and I wanted to spout off at the mouth, too, on what may become what Al Gore calls an “Internet Meme”

“In your view, what are the most common myths among the firearms community about "stopping power" (now there's a fuzzy term if ever I've heard one), penetration, velocity, caliber, bullet weight and construction, firearms accuracy and reliability? If there are other points of contention I haven't mentioned, by all means let me know”

Stopping power: I always thought that this was the distance you’d carry something before ‘stopping’. Like I can walk for 20 miles toting 5000 rounds of .22 ammo, but I can only get about 200 yards with 5000 rounds of .45 before I am too tired to go on. In other words I stop. Ergo .45 ACP has more stopping power than .22. And for some reason this is desirable. [Not if I have to walk anywhere carrying it –ed.] I don’t know why, yet.

Penetration: Please! This is trying to be a family blog. We will not descend into prurient obscenity.

VeloCity: A city that has been using the Supreme court
Velo vs. City (shortened to velocity) of New London Connecticut Decision to confiscate private land to then give to big campaign donors that promise to build some business on said land that will bring in more tax revenue to the local authorities. This ruling is frowned upon by the small ‘L’ members of the gun community (in other words, most all of them) because of the perceived violations of the ‘takings clause’ of the Constitution. And gunnies hate it when plain constitutional language is perverted in such a way because it means the plain language in the Second Amendment can be similarly misconstrued to better serve our political masters.

Caliber: A beer from Europe. From the Guiness Brewery, no less. Sometimes spelled with a 'K'. No, not 'Caliker.' Jimminy. And, criminally, it's non-alcoholic. Let me just let that sink in... Non-Alcoholic beer. From Ireland. What's next? Non-compensating for a 'shortcoming' paranoid redneck gun-owners from America?

Bullet weight: The time you have to wait between rounds of firing fun when you are reloading magazines at the gun range.

Firearms Accuracy: Is truly a myth. Based on my results at the range there is no such thing. It is impossible for a human to make a bullet punch a target where you want it. It HAS to be a myth. It can’t be MY fault I can’t make the holes show up near the center of that big paper circle.

In your view, what are the most common myths among non-firearms enthusiasts about the same subjects? What are the biggest misconceptions among non-shooters about the destructive power of firearms? [He’s referring to Hollwood here –ed.]

I’ve always found Hollywood to depict firearms pretty accurately. They are diligent truth-tellers out there in California, and would never try to steer us wrong. I’m still not going to try The Matrix style bullet-dodging. Not because it is impossible, but because I’m not as young as I once was, and I don’t think my back is that flexible anymore. But every time I’ve been shot, the force of the bullet has sent me halfway across the room. If there is a window near, I usually go through that. Luckily, the glass has never cut me up badly. Or at all. And all the bullet wounds have been flesh wounds to the shoulder. A sufficiently thin butter knife has gotten the rifle slug out of there. I wore an arm sling for a day or two and favored that side. That’s just how it has worked out for me. Every time. Honest. Pinky swear.

JayG had a good point: “7. Shotguns, presumably with birdshot, are capable of turning people into hamburg.”

True. A Slug round from a shotgun will turn you toward Paris, the City of Light, but birdshot puts you in the mind of Hamburg Germany, birthplace of Roy Croc and Dave Thomas (Wendy’s founder), and a huge port city. And a nice Buckshot cartridge turns your heart to enter the city with Seven Hills… Eternal Rome. I don’t know why, but if JayG says it’s so, it must be.

"Aside from the obvious (the ability to put multiple rounds through a bad guy's left ventricle while under extreme stress), what do you feel are the most important determining factors in rendering someone quickly and decisively dead or incapacitated? I'm talking about the tools here, folks - the weapon and its projectiles - not the training and mindset of the shooter."

Clearly, the only option is to go New York police officer style and unload a minimum of 50 rounds into a subject. Or at least squeeze off that many. Apparently it is a rule in NYC that if you see a guy take his wallet out you have to expend at LEAST 3 dozen rounds from your Glock. Fortunately for Wallet-Boy, there are documented instances of that volume of fire being expended and no one getting hit with anything.

Maybe smart police sergeants in NYC know which officers are the Barny Fifes in their precinct, but instead of issuing them with a single bullet, as Sheriff Taylor did with Barney, they issue them with full Glock magazines filled with blanks. Makes a heckuva racket, but no one gets hurt. Still, it’s bad form when NYC Fifes go at it with the blanks, and New York’s news media is a little more rigorous than Mayberry’s, so when it happens we hear about it in the rest of the world. The Mount Pilot Herald is way over on the other side of the county, and they like Barney too much to print anything in the newspaper too embarrassing about him. As long as no one gets hurt.

3 comments:

Ambulance Driver said...

ROFLMAO...

breda said...

I barely made it past "hamburger." I'm so hungry.

But, you , NJT are pure hilarity. =)

Jay G said...

You know you've arrived when you can make the venerable AD LOL...

Excellent work, Bolt. Simply excellent!