Friday, July 10, 2009

How to know if you are a gun nut

How to know if you are a gun nut? Not the easy answers, like "you have 4 gun vaults and need a 5th..." type of gun nut. The bare minimum. Where you cross the line from mere gun owner to gun nut. The gun nut Rubicon, where on this side, you can go to swanky city-liberal cocktail parties and word gets out about your gun and you aren't ostracized, but on that side... you don't get an invite to the next party.

  • If you got more handguns than you got hands, you are a gun nut
  • If you have 2 rifles that do the same thing (2 semi-auto .22s, 2 lever action .30-30s, 2 M1 Garands), and you didn't accidentally inherit one of them through no fault of your own, you are a gun nut.
  • If you have 4 or more rifles that do differents things, you are a gun nut.
  • If you have a rifle that takes an ammo type you can't find after checking 3 randome gun stores in a normal ammo market (not today's market, but what we had this time last year), you are a gun nut. (I mean, how much Arisaka ammo is there our there? It can be found, yes, but it's not always out there.)
  • If you know what a tround is, you are a gun nut.
  • If you conceal carry, but have one gun you carry during the week, and another gun you carry for special occasions like wedding, graduations, and church services, you are a gun nut. (there are plenty of CCW people out there that aren't gun nuts, and carry because they have been threatened specifically.)
  • If you became a member of the NRA or other pro-civil-rights org. because some anti-gun politician of famous person annoyed you, you are a gun nut.
  • If you read gun blogs more than twice a week for 6 weeks, you are on your way to being a gun nut.
  • If you have gone to more than one gun show, paying your own way, since the creation of the term 'gun show loophole,' but disagree with the statment 'no man should have a gun smaller than a canned ham,' you are a gun nut.
  • If you become aware of an associate of good character that took a concealed loaded gun to a public place like a Mall or parade and your thought wasn't 'oh my! oh no! someone could have been hurt accidentally!' but rather, 'good move. you never can tell,' you are a gun nut.
  • If any part of the speech fragment 'small town, bitter people clinging to their guns and religion and their antipathy to people not like them,' annoys you, but especially gun part, you are a gun nut.

Did I miss any subtle nuance?

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh...there's plenty more.

How about these:

If you've ever bought ammo in a caliber for which you have no guns, because you stumbled across a deal you couldn't refuse, you are a gun nut.

If you ever subsequently bought a gun in the newly acquired caliber just because "heck, I've got ammo, I may as well have a gun that uses it", you are a gun nut.

If you've ever bought accessories (sights, magazines, optics mounts, etc) for a gun that you don't own, because "someday I want to get one of those", you are a gun nut.

If it takes you longer than 10 seconds to count the number of magazines you own for a particular gun, you are a gun nut.

If you ever, at the same time, happened to find a $20 bill and a box of .22lr ammo in your car that you had forgotten about, and your first reaction would be "HEY...AMMO!", you are a gun nut.

I could go on but I'll spare you.

Old NFO said...

If you've decided against buying a car you really wanted because the lumbar support hits your carry gun the wrong way... I actually did that- ended up buying a truck instead...

And you walk into a gun store and the counter guy starts stacking ammo on the counter before you even get there...

bogei said...

I've only been to one gun show, but paid for 3 people - none of them kids.

Helped a guy and his wife get a concealed carry license (explained the process and volunteered to be character witness).

Borepatch said...

"If you know what a tround is, you are a gun nut."

If you've "blogged" about trounds, you're a gun blogger nut. ;-)

Earl said...

Of all the almost offensive things I have been called, I am glad I am not a Gun Nut. Honest, it is almost cute, but firearms are serious and the responsibility enormous so much so that the Government feels obligated to do something about it. And T. Jefferson carried a gun on his walks - I could never call him a gun nut, nor George Washington, nor Andrew Jackson -- Teddy Roosevelt might have made the Gun Nut group. I do fall short in so many ways.

Bunnyman said...

If having fewer than four bricks of .22 in the house makes you very uncomfortable, you might be a gun nut.
If you collect brass at the range in odd calibers, just so you can have a collection of odd brass (.50 AE! .356 TSW! etc.), you may be a gun nut.
If you make lifestyle choices - food, clothing, etc. - based on their impact on the ammo budget, you may be a gun nut.

none said...

If you've ever purchased Ultra- tactictal uber shark face performance ammo for 6 bucks a round just to see what it would do to a watermelon..you might be a gun nut.

David said...

If you have a centerfire firearm with a bore greater than .458, you are probably a gun nut. If you shoot more that 20rds a year though it, you are definitely a gun nut.

just Ken said...

Oh, I don't know - they all sound like ordinary everyday behavior. Does that make me a gun nut?

HossIsBoss said...

What about wishing you have more than one of any particular rifle (Garand-itis - anyone?) but are trying to save up the scratch?

Intent puts me in the category!

kaflick said...

If you have reloading dies that don't match any guns you have - you are a gun nut.

If you look at the NRA's latest 21 gun sweepstakes and the first thing you notice is that there aren't any magazine fed semi-auto rifles to choose from you are a gun nut.

Jay G said...

There. Happy?

azlibertarian said...

If you ever hope to see your state adopt a "One-Gun-A-Month" law because "Daddy's got some serious catching up to do", you're a gun nut.