Saw Shoot Em Up

With hero Clive Owen and the delectable Monica Belucci. Paul Giamatti makes a great bad-guy, too. What a HUGE crock of fantasy. The gun pr0n was EVERYWHERE. Were that I was that accurate. And there was a silly underlying gun-control theme. Shoot Em Up

Here is the gist. There is a Senator that is a shoo-in for President and he is very pro gun control. But he has a secret, he is dying of cancer and has to treat it by harvesting infants. (how ghoulish!) His opposition. Is it the other party? No. BIGGER. The Gun Lobby and Gun Manufacturers. They 'get' to the Senator and he turns to their side in a political deal. The hero, the gun expert and the guy that just shot about 700 bad guy and 'carrotted' a few more (yes, carrot, not garrote) is probably pro gun-control and definitely ANTI-Gun-Lobby shoot the Senator to make him a gun-control martyr and to make good his escape from the bad guys. The Senator's gun-control followers need never know of his betrayal after he is dead.

So the whole thing rests on the assumption that the pro-gun lobby and gun industry are very powerful. None more powerful. Please. The medical supply industry sells more elderly themed items (Geritol, walkers, special terlets, adult diapers) in a year than the gun industry sells guns. And the AARP lobby has more money and members and power than the NRA could ever dream of. So how come old people are the never the all-powerful nefarious bad-guys in cinema? Except in Cocoon, of course. And Hot Fuzz. And Susan Sarandon movies.

So the "Omniscient Gun Lobby" theme is pure fantasy and I even think the filmmakers were tong in cheek about it. I didn't let it annoy me too much at the expense of enjoying the movie (did I mention the fact Monica Belucci is in it?)

As for gun pr0n, I'd have been happier with more classic milsurp stuff, but that's not going to impress the kids today. I am quickly falling into a marginalized demographic, but I've always be a bit contrary and hard to pin down. What made a big showing was a thumbprint safety on many of the handguns. It became a plot point that involved post mortem sharia-thief style amputations. Though I wouldn't own one of those if you paid me gear to my thumb. I've seen how unreliable biometrics are. And batteries die, computer chip fry and vibrate loose... And I don't ant Clive chopping off my hand when he wants to shoot my gun (I'm a lefty anyway, Clive! It'll never work out for you!)

Shoot-em-up movie genres (of which THIS one is poking a little fun at) are getting more and more over the top. It's stretching my suspension of disbelief. The good guy is shot at, in this style, 10,000 times, and is missed all but once or twice. The hits are minor flesh wounds. The good guys shoots the bad guy or tiny little targets that then fall on the hidden bad guy 700 times, and misses maybe once or twice, requiring follow ups. There are some multiple hits, but that's just to be sure. He hits moving targets while he himself is busy moving (and in one scene in this particular movie, while biz-zay.)

In 5 years, he will have to be shot at 20,000 and shoot the bad guys 2000 times in order to top older generations of the genre. I miss movies like John Wayne's, The Shootist. Now THAT was a shooter's movie. And it had Lauren Bacall, Jimmy Stewart, Harry Morgan, and Ron Howard in it. John Wayne was both hero AND anti-hero in it. One of the few movies where Wayne is dies in the end. I need to add that movie to my list for re-watching now.

[update: watched some deleted scenes and noticed WHY the hero is no anti-gun. you see, he was an FFL gun DEALER with a nice little gun store, and he sold 2 shotguns to a known felon. said felon then shot up a public place, killing the hero's wife and kid. hero was arrested for his blatant violation of the 1968 gun control act, and subsequent acts that made it a requirement to, you know, NOT sell guns to felons, and to check on that before ringing up the sale. after, he jumped bail and went underground. well if THAT doesn't turn you against guns, nothing will] [does that make sense to ANYONE?]