Email.

Been gettin lots of important stuff.

• The Clerk of the Court says I have a Notice of Appearance. No court knows any of my email addresses, and certainly not THAT one.
• There is a Neighborhood Child Predator Alert, please open this attachment.  I have no children.
• I can look 20 years younger in minutes
• Who's Who sent me an invitation
• Plus a Chinese Nigerian wants to buy my land.

Hmph.