“Q: What is the definition of a survivalist? A: Somebody with a rifle and the address of a Mormon.” Because everybody knew those Mormons were required by an official memo straight from God to Joseph E. Smith, Jr. to stockpile canned goods for a year in their tidy little basements. If you had a rifle, the idea was, you just strolled over to their house and either ordered them out if you were feeling all interfaith-cuddly or shot the whole bunch, although with those Mormon birth rates you’d be using up a lot of ammo on basically harmless people.
Well, they were harmless back then. I suspect if you kicked down the door of the average Mormon house now you’d get a face full of buckshot. People are meaner than they used to be.
I’m Going to Need a Deeper Bunker
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1 comment:
Disclaimer: I'm a Mormon.
From what I've seen, we're not exactly a bunch of pacifists. Gun ownership is very common among us. We've had multiple instances where we have been told that self-reliance includes self-defense and that it would be a good thing to own and be able to use a gun.
While touring Nauvoo (you know, the city most of the Mormons were living in at the time that they were so rudely kicked out of the USA due to their religious beliefs) we were in the restored Browning Gunsmith Shop/Museum. During the tour, the guide pointed out the various Browning guns hanging on the walls, ranging in ages from the earliest times to today. When she pointed out the BMG, one of the tourists said, rather loudly, "If he'd have just invented that one a little earlier, we never would have had to leave."
Lots of chuckles from everyone there. Knowing chuckles.
It is a part of our doctrine that we are supposed to defend ourselves and our families and our fellow man, to whatever extent is necessary. Just so you all know.
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