And I can always remind other n00bs on one VERY important subject. I know I've gone over this before, but bear with me.
People, please, I can’t stress this enough… Do not plan to meet the Zombie Horde with a shotgun, molotov cocktail and chainsaw. They are the worst anti-Zed weapons out there. Shotguns are slow to load when empty, and the ammo is heavy to tote around (but they are perfect for a single zombie, yes, if a bit messy. the problem is, like roaches, there is never just one zombie). A molotov cocktail turns a walking, bitey corpse into a walking, bitey TORCH that burns you and all your stuff, including all those shotgun rounds you were carrying. And a chainsaw is even messier, splattering infected gore all over, and you have to be in corpse-clutch reach to employ it.
To say that you'll use the shotty, molotov cocktail, and chainsaw against the undead threat is like saying, in my mind, you intend to ward off a street gang of determined home invaders with a tape recording of a pump shotgun being racked, a two shot .22-short derringer, and your trusty Hamburglar costume to confuse them. While I agree it might work, it is probably not the best way. You're not gonna protect your home that way, are you? Then put the chainsaw down when you hear a death moan.
People, please, I can’t stress this enough… Do not plan to meet the Zombie Horde with a shotgun, molotov cocktail and chainsaw. They are the worst anti-Zed weapons out there. Shotguns are slow to load when empty, and the ammo is heavy to tote around (but they are perfect for a single zombie, yes, if a bit messy. the problem is, like roaches, there is never just one zombie). A molotov cocktail turns a walking, bitey corpse into a walking, bitey TORCH that burns you and all your stuff, including all those shotgun rounds you were carrying. And a chainsaw is even messier, splattering infected gore all over, and you have to be in corpse-clutch reach to employ it.
To say that you'll use the shotty, molotov cocktail, and chainsaw against the undead threat is like saying, in my mind, you intend to ward off a street gang of determined home invaders with a tape recording of a pump shotgun being racked, a two shot .22-short derringer, and your trusty Hamburglar costume to confuse them. While I agree it might work, it is probably not the best way. You're not gonna protect your home that way, are you? Then put the chainsaw down when you hear a death moan.
I should do a PSA about this issue. I keep hearing about people with plans to take on Zed with one or more of those death-trap weapons. I blame Hollywood for spreading such false information. And Hippies. I'd blame Jimmy Carter too, but this is one subject that History's Greatest Monster has actually excelled in. He has personally retired 4 humanoid zombies, one rabbit zed, and a probable undead cat not 4 years ago.
Remember, May is Zombie Awareness Month.
Of course I am a lifetime member of the Zombie Research Society.
Of course I am a lifetime member of the Zombie Research Society.
1 comment:
That was one of the things that drove me crazy about the movie Zombieland. That wimpy dude's double barrel made me grind my teeth every time I saw it.
And making fun of its uselessness during the 21 gun salute for Bill Murray just rubbed it in.
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