I have left instructions to my family that in the event of my death I am to be BURIED. None of this cremation Boolshyte. And, and this is important, I must be buried in a rented tuxedo. After the service, the rental place must be instructed what happened to the tux and why my family won't be coming back for the deposit. Hey, if you can leave instruction on what to do with the life insurance money then what is the point.
Now, this is giving me further ideas:
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I really want to be cremated, and I think I've figured out how to be strongly dosed with thorium beforehand. Then I want a uranium vaseline glass urn that will glow with my ashes in it. I'll be hazardous waste and they won't be able to dispose of me. I shall haunt them for 14.05 billion years. That'll show them.
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