Catalog

So, if you buy ONE pair of Tactical Socks from online and you can count on getting a metric poop-ton of catalogs in the mail. The most recent one was from an outfit called Firequest.

Lots of $60 tactical optics, lockpick sets, off brand tactical vests, books on making silencers with potatoes and 2 liter plastic bottles. That sort of thing. Everything a mall ninja might need.

Yeah, not much.

There were a coupla 'iffy' items. They sell those trigger modifications that help you bump fire your semi-auto rifle. Make em act like a machine gun. Seems to me that that would be a bad idea, and a sure way to get ATF interested in you. And not in a good way. Not in a "I like you, do you like me? Check yes/no." mash note way. Not for me, thanks.

You can get something that changes your voice on the phone, so you can call in your kidnapper demands. Not the FBI is eyeing you warily. Another bad idea.

They also have rail mounted grenade launchers, like the military's M203. And ammo for same. Flares and smoke stuff. Getting the explody kind of grenades is another ATF no no, without a lot of hoop jumping. Also probably a bad idea. Besides, I don't have an underrail to mount something like that. The M14 style grenade launcher is the M76, and it goes over the muzzle. Some guys like to play with those with inert grenades, trying to lob em into 55 gallon drums from 300 yards away. That sounds fun but I have no where around with enough space to do that safely. You need a blank cartridge to launch it. Woe betide you if you use an standard M118 live round and a live grenade. The coffin at your funeral will the size of a cigar box,

They have funny 12 gauge ammo for sale that varies from 'maybe useful' to 'uhh, really?' Stuff you don't find at Bass Pro. On the 'maybe useful' side is the flares (you don't need a separate flare gun) and the blanks. On the 'uhh really' side is flechettes shells, confetti, and the bolo firing Macho Gaucho. The bolo is 2 slugs connected by a steel wire. If you tried to use it like a real bolo to trip up game you'd probably take their legs off. Odd. Also available is a "flame thrower" shell. It shoots a 50 foot flame. Also known as the forest fire round. It says right in the catalog: "Do not use indoors." Really? Ya think?

I can't order the flares or blanks or even just the regular buckshot shells. I live in Montgomery County Maryland. No home delivery ammo shipments allowed. Just like our neighbor to the south, Washington DC.