Monday, March 15, 2010

Zombieland review

Finally saw it. On DVD, naturally. It was good. Not 'Best EVAH!!!1!!11!eleven'. It was like a US version of Shaun of the Dead.

Yeah yeah, I came to it late. But I am alone right now and don't like going to movies solo. I would have gone with Saucy Trollop, but she hit the Mega Millions lottery jackpot, dumped my big behind, took up with a pair of 23 year old skydiving instructors with only 5% body fat between em, and now the three of them live very happily in French Polynesia. No hard feelings, though. She still emails occasionally.

Zombieland is good in that it's the first Woody Harrelson film in a long time that didn't annoy me.

Problems with it? The use of shotguns and lever guns. All slow loading. How did that geek from Juno survive that long with just a double barrel shotgun?

I was shocked about the secret/surprise to the whole movie. No one let on anywhere. No reviews I read. Even friends that saw the movie didn't spoil it. Wanna know? Then rent the dang thing. It was a treat.

Gun content? Plenty. Of course. It's a zombie movie. Do you know of a zombie movie outside the UK without lots of guns?

The zombies are sprinters. They aren't risen from the recently deceased, they are diseased. Mad-Cow morphs into Zombie-Man disease. So a gas station burger started the Zombocalypse (Of course it was beef. Bacon would NEVER do anything to hurt us...) Sprinting Zombies is bad, but humans driven violent, crazed, adrenalin-driven, and cannibalistic... at least you don't have to go for headshots. Center mass works. The movie has a good safety tip. The adrenalin fueled infected might need to get more than one round in them to be sure they lie still... Double tap.

The only problem with Zombieland? No black guy. If this was a George Romero movie there would always have been at least one main character that is an African-American male. If you find yourself up against shambling zombies that are actually the undead (like Romero zombies), and only headshots retire them... AND you find yourself in a little group of 10 with 3 people vying for leadership, a Caucasian woman, an East Asia man, and a Black man... AND the woman wants to do A, and the Asian wants to do B, and the black guy wants to do C. Do C. Trust me. The black male leader of your survival party will be the closest thing to salvation. If you stick with the black guy you'll survive the longest. You might not live forever, but you'll do a darn sight better than with those other 2 idiots.

But there is no African American character in Zombieland. I wouldn't know if hanging with the bodacious Woody Harrelson character was a good idea or suicide. It'd be nice to have a choice...

Worth the DVD rental, I say. Not too scary. It's more adventure than horror/thriller. Comedy, too. Nothing to wet your pants over. Unless you have Coulrophobia.


Sigboy said...

I think that the secret surprise was the best part of the movie! And no, I have not spoiled it for anybosy yet either.

Paladin said...

We watched it on DVD two weeks ago, and I figured we were the last people on earth to see it :)

I'm not a Woody fan either, which is the main reason I put off seeing it for so long. I usually dig the zombie theme. I thought it was ok, but not great. I think I heard so many over the top raves about the movie that it would have been almost impossible for it to live up to the hype.

Ok movie... but sub par for the sophisticated tastes of the zombie connoisseur :)