Sequester Coverage

Various sources quoted.  See if you can pick the gunblogger!


"Just tried driving but since sequestration went into effect the roads have all crumbled into dust."


"OH MY GOD THERE ARE GOVERNMENT WORKERS SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTING ALL OVER THE PLACE, THIS IS HORRIBLE, PLEASE MAKE IT STOP"


"BREAKING: CALIFORNIA DECLARES WAR ON OREGON; KENTUCKY LAUNCHES SNEAK ATTACK ON TENNESSEE. MASS CHAOS."


"It wasn't until I ate my neighbor's pancreas that I realized president Obama was right about the sequester."


"The corpses are piling up outside my window like cordwood, oh my God the humanity."


"Nothing to worry about! I grabbed my double barrel shotgun & blasted #sequester through the door, just like the VP said."


"President Obama is right. Undo the sequester! I can't stand it already."


"I don't think my neighbors are taking sequestration seriously. They're giving me weird looks and making fun of my war paint and loincloth."


"So this is what anarchy feels like . . . From now on, I shall be known as ExJon, Warlord of the Western Deserts.'"


"Did America lose 170,000,000 jobs in the last 10 minutes? Keep me informed, everyone."


"The #sequester may now join the Mayan Calendar and the Y2K bug in the '[Stuff] Everyone Survived' Hall of Fame."


"A few hours of fitful sleep, the sound of sirens and screams of the victims of the Barackolypse rending the night air . . . I saw their fires in the dark, savagery swiftly tearing away the thin veneer of civilization only government diversity programs provided."


"Just looked out the window. Five hedge fund guys fighting over a piece of raw meat."