Wednesday, August 20, 2008

GEOrge RoMERO

If you’ve been paying attention that last few months you’ve seen it. It’s all over the place.

Signs of zombies in the news…

There is a ongoing secret war against them.

A year I was recruited to fight in that war thanks to my background as a 'Recon Green Beret Airborne in Seal Team 6.'

[ed: You know how to tell if some was really in Special Forces? Well not only has he never bragged about it, he probably has never mentioned it. So all those people that haven't claimed to be SpecOps, probably ARE SpecOps. I had no idea Grandma was, but I have to assume so because she never talked about her time during the war…]

Nah. You all know I've always joked about that. I have other skills that got me recruited. None of those Operator Skills.


I'm not kinetic energy. Yet. Just support. I keep their email and chat servers running. I make sure they can share Word files when they type up after action reports. I maintain Config Management for those same files, run system backups. Keep the all important network UP. So I don't get the primo gear, but it's still pretty sweet. Also there is KP duties and ammo-bearing. Everyone has to take a turn in the mess hall peeling potatoes. Not a whole lot of potato peeler types out there with Zombie Security Clearances. Shoot there are some PRESIDENTS that don’t get the Zombie Security Clearance. I’m looking at YOU Jimmah. Clinton didn’t get cleared til 1997.

And I’ve been tasked with sharing some inside information with YOU people. Both loyal readers. So try to keep this under your hats. If word gets too far afield the panic could kill more people than Zed would. Well in a level 3 situation. In Level 4 outbreaks… yeah, Zed will kill more people than panic. A lot more.


The organization is called the Ghoul Elimination Organization. Rapid Multi-Eradication Recon Ops. GEOrge RoMERO, or simply Romero, for short. I’m one of the LAST Men, or Light Armored Security Team. I ride around in modified Strykers, after the point Troops clear an area on foot. Comms gear, computer servers, and support equipment are in the vehicles and since that is my job that is where I sit. The LAST vehicles are there to solve problems that arise. We are also a fall back line in the event there are other-than-undead hostiles. OTU’s. It’s because of them that ROMERO retained a bit of the armor on the Stryker vehicles, along with the heavier arms. Zombies don’t shoot back, but panicking people can. I’ve never been anywhere where the heavy stuff was needed or been under fire. We’re not as well protected as regular Stryker vehicles because they wanted to lighten the vehicle enough to be able to lift them with a helicopter and C-130 and to improve off road mobility. To do that they had to shed almost HALF the weight. [ed: and I say LAST 'Men,' but there are quite a few females on the Teams]

Most of the time, the LAST vehicles are just cleanup.

Am I armed while on a mission? You KNOW it. Have I used my sidearm? HELL no! If I have to use a weapon then something has gone SERIOUSLY wrong.

The unit used to be called Zombie Eradication and Removal Organization ZERO, but no one wanted to be know as ZEROs. That was changed in the Johnson administration. Then they were called Former-Living Anomaly Targeting Unit, Law Enforcement Nexus Team, or FLATULENT, but we don't use that name anymore. Not because of the acronym, but because the force had to be reconstituted when almost the entire FLATULENT force was killed in the line of duty back in '75. Romero is what has been around since 1980 (Carter thought the specialty unit superfluous and refused to reactivate it. History's greatest monster indeed…I guess I shouldn’t blame him too much. He was never fully briefed on the true nature of the threat. But it’s largely because of him that GEOrge RoMERO has to spend so much time these days in Central Asia. Well that, and the distractions of human-on-human conflict.) There are only a few old timers around that remember pre-‘75 days. And they almost never talk about it. The reports are sketchy on what happened. Lots of “lessons learned” in the after-action material. Massive doctrine changes, after. A lot less ‘cowboy’ tactics, now.


You readers (both of you) REALLY have to keep this under your hats. For serious. I'll try to post reports on what missions I can. For security reasons I may have to omit some details.


Wanna know a little secret now? Those people that you derogatively call "Mall Ninjas." Yeah. They are a part of Romero. They are acting that way to maintain cover, accepting the ridicule of one and all in order to watch over one of the most precious of post Level-4 Outbreak Necropalypse resources. The Shopping Mall. The film Dawn of the Dead is a training film disguised as entertainment. A training film for regular citizens like YOU. So when you see one of these guys talking embrassingly silly and ignorant smack about his time as SpecOps Operator, a big part of that is an act. Camoflage to hide the fact that he IS a SpecOps Operator. In Romero. It's a thankless job, but someone has to do it. They are braver men than me. The post is suicide, assigned to a mall, surrounded by undead. And yes they DO have better quality equipment stashed in strategic locations throughout that mall. That $25 Homeland Security Tactical Assault vest is just more cover so you'll let your guard down and allow them to work.

Except SOME of those mall ninjas are just Romero wannabes. Piff! Losers.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Do you guys operate in Manhattan or am I just screwed?

The One In NYFC (No, not THAT One.)

Anonymous said...

Welcome to the ranks, T-Bolt! I figured the DC squad would pick you up sooner or later. The less said the better, but I don't think your other readers are that prone to panic.