Friday, April 27, 2012

Sticky Wicket

Yet ANOTHER co-worker.  Let's call him Dipstick (not meant in a way that makes fun of perceived lesser intellect, mind you.  he comes by the nickname from another route.  let's leave it at that...).

He is going through a divorce.  His soon to be ex is shacking up with a former Marine.   Which is normally fine but this one is a little on the "scary, mind-poisoned by the ex, perhaps violent" side of the former Marine spectrum.

The ex hasn't gotten her stuff out of Dipstick's house, so there is tension involved with a possible meetup of all 3 people simultaneously.

So his question is, "I can buy a gun now that that Maryland court case went through and get my CCW in an afternoon, now, right?"

Sadly, no.  You'd need a good and substantial reason, still, and that would require police reports.  If the Marine gives you a beat down a few times that should do it.  Call 911 after each beating! It will still take 90 days or so for the CCW. 

Getting a pistol also takes a week.

"I'm not allowed to have a pistol at the parking lot of my work.  What if I drive home and they are standing in my driveway, and me without a gun on my property, they between me and it!  I'm BONED!"

Well, you are in a vehicle.  It's an excellent means of evasion, being able to drive 80 mph or more.  Faster than most angry Marines can run.  It is also a 2 ton conveyance with a lot of momentum....  Look, Dipstick...  The pistol you don't have or would be trapped in your house is not the weapon.  The car you are driving is not the weapon.  The weapon is between your ears.

Besides, Marines are cuddly.  And if he wanted to commit 1st degree murder on your sorry self then you'd probably never feel a thing.

And maybe, just maybe, the throes of a divorce is not the time to turn ones thoughts toward firearms.  Just a thought.  It's certainly his right to purchase a firearm at any damn time he pleases.  But it's like he has a problem in mind and thinks possessing the item solves it.  It's more complicated than that.

I am pretty confident he is gonna pre-emptively spend that money on a good lawyer instead.  


Bob said...

Mossberg Cruiser. Not a pistol, so you can purchase it without a wait period. Not as compact as a pistol, but not as bulky as a full-sized rifle or shotgun.

Marty said...

Survival Rule Number 2: Be Prepared

Robert Fowler said...

As a former Marine myself, I would stand off about 500 yards with my scoped 8mm and put one in her head. Then while he was standing there with his mouth open, I'd give him one too. Semper Fi.

Bubblehead Les. said...

Sigh! If he drives up to the House, and they are standing there, you DRIVE AWAY NOW and then call the Cops.

If she is stilled allowed in the House, though, getting a Mossie is no good, because when "Dipstick" goes to Work, she just hands it over to the Boyfriend. And traveling around with a Loaded Firearm in Maryland gets you in Trouble, right? Hell, even if he kept it in the Car, any bets she wouldn't call Work, and the next thing is YOU are being hit with a SWAT Team at the office while you are looking up Zombie Apocalypse Reference Material in your Cube?

Best bet is for him to go Old School, find another place to live, and have a Police Escort (or hire some Security Company for a Day) to get his Valuables out of the House and just leave. That way he's still alive to "Fight Another Day."