Saturday, December 6, 2008

Cowed Spouse

There are plenty of people in mixed marriages out there. Breda was, until she came around on the issue. And she was the 'problem' spouse back in the day.

Even I have met people like this. I've shot their rifles that were on perma-loan to relatives.

You know what I mean here. One half of the couple is comfortable about guns and enjoys shooting or hunting, but the other half that has joined their life hates guns, or is worried about any kids that might stumble upon a firearm. Or is worried about older kids and their friends and what if they turn out to be trouble makers? Because the gun owner in this equation isn't a fanatic, or even an enthusiast, they cave to the concerns of the other half and lock away permanently or get rid of their shooting iron.

It's the path of least resistance, and it maintains the peace and harmony of the marriage. If you are not really into guns you cede this battle. And I don't even think people that choose this option are all that wrong. When it comes down to a choice between the guns or the life partner most will choose the partner.

If you are lucky and happen to fall in love with a hoplophobe, maybe you can convert them, like Mike did to Breda. With patience and understanding. At least to the point where the significant other is at semi-neutral on subject would be a win. So you don't have to give your guns to your brother on permanent loan. Of course you'd train your kids to properly respect the firearms and keep your guns secure from idle young hands.

If you are Lottery-Jackpot lucky, you marry a woman like Tam, if you are male gunnie of shooting enthusiasm. One that has acres of knowledge to teach YOU about boomsticks.

Chances are, you aren't Tam lucky, or even pre-chrysalis Breda lucky. And you have an uphill climb that you might not surmount.

I imagine this is where we lose the most shooters. Loss of interest combined with actual outside antipathy means one less household.

How do we reverse the trend? Well the plan is easy, and the execution is simple, but solution is hard. It'll just take a while. What is the plan? Be a responsible firearm custodian. Don't scare off folks with crazy talk about plugging bad guys at your door, or taking to the hills to evade the UN Tyranny forces, or, yes, don't make people think you are seriously worried about actual zombies. Fortunately, for me, the idea of actual zombies is silly enough, and considering the source... Do things with guns that are normal and act like it is normal. No more mindset thinking you are in a special fraternity that appreciates the Bill of Rights when most do not. At least not outwardly. Encourage other gun owners to not go to extremes and let passion rule. It's the gun banners that are the crazy extremists after all. Especially encourage mall ninja types to dial it back, even if you have to ridicule them privately. If pushed as to why you are a gun owner and user explain your reasons in calm measured common sense terms, even in the face of a hostile audience. Stuff like recreation, personal betterment through a disciplined target challenge, and self-defense.

But but but... The other side is so emotional and might take the high ground of public opinion with their histrionics and you are passionate about the Second Amendment? Emotional appeal is such a strong and seemingly effective short circuit to the argument. You can be passionate and disciplined and still look normal while doing it. It's hard to do this. It's easy to rant and rail against the injustice. But a professional attitude and a disciplined application of calm pressure will win in the end. Heller was personally extreme in his passions and defense of individual rights. His strategy was victory through a Supreme Court case, and there are many other strategies going forward throught he courts and the legislature. But his tactics, were calm and disciplined. He didn't let his heart rule him in his fight. Not in the public eye. And he won. As we will win. And you can/will convert others, even a recalcitrant spouse using the same tactic.

Let's practice:


"Actually, it only looks like a military assault rifle. Military assault rifles are machine guns and there have been effective laws regulating machine guns since 1934. This rifle is only semi-automatic, like many hunting rifles. It's not a machine gun. And I use it for target shooting and not murder. Most actual murderers don't even prefer to use one of these. It's fun. If you like I can teach you how to safely shoot it, and have fun with it, too."


Turk Turon said...

Excellent post!

Your remarks are in harmony with my own experiences in matrimonial hoplophobia.

Wise words.

Sigboy said...

Very well spoken, errr, written. My wife married a 'gunny' and I told her in the begining, "don't ask me to get rid of them, you will lose that fight." Of course, I mostly converted her. Now we are a happy, healthy, gun filled house.

Sigboy said...

Mrs. SigBoy says "How would you hunt and provide for the family w/o guns?" God, I am Lucky.

Unknown said...

My wife is pretty rocking. It's not the gun issue it's the $$$ issue.

So me buying a firearm is akin to me buying Xbox gear.

(ie: If i had tons of money, my wife would probably approve of me buying a tank)