Thursday, March 27, 2014

Zombie Bigots

I, and I am sure, you, have heard Leftists to argue that the whole 'zombie' thing is just a way for zombie enthusiasts to hide their racism.  That the term zombie is a code word, a dog whistle, for black people. 

Well, Progressives do that for everything, but on this particular minutiae I'd like to remind you of a little concept.

It's called the Black Savior Constant or Black Jesus Constant (the term would probably be more widespread if the original poster had thought up a less blasphemous term.)

The way it works is this.  We know from modern zombie Canon (bitten shamblors or sprinter zeds) that the key to maximize your chances for survival is to team up with an African-American gentleman.  You gotta use a bit of judgment, of course, if there is more that one to choose from.  In the movies, THAT guy, the black dude that seems more with it, is the one that makes it to the end of the movie and often beyond.  Teaming up with him (and it's always a man, for some reason) might not guarantee your safety, but it helps.  What kind of judgment?  If there is a gang banger with a pregnant wife or Ving Rhames playing a police officer, alone, pick Ving for the long haul.  The pregnant wife can cloud a man's decision making and make him take too many risks or send him over the deep end if something bad happens to the missus.

The ignorant and the thoughtless have a plan to go to Wal Mart or Gander Mountain to get ammo and guns.  Well you and everyone and their brother, Scooter.  The place will be mobbed.  It'll look almost as bad as when they open the day after Thanksgiving.  The smart zombie prepper doesn't need that trip.  If a last minute errand needs to be run it's to someplace like Penzey's Spices or to get spare tires at the Firestone store.  Fewer crowds and undead in those places.  THEN they bunker up.  And they listen to the black guy in their little survival group.  For some reason, the films has shown, that guy has his head on straight.  In fact, he probably told you it was a bad idea to stock up on garlic salt and Penzey's, so you already messed up going there.

Anyway, when some race baiter calls you a racist for an interest in the coming Zombacalypse, tell them they couldn't BE more wrong. 


That Guy said...

I thought everyone knew that the "Zombies only fall to headshots" was code for "Aim for the blue helmets".

Huh. Strange.

Charles DuPre DeAntonio said...

"That the term zombie is a code word, a dog whistle, for black people."

Bah! They're communists, of course.

Decaying, unreasonable, destructive, and overwhelming the sentient with sheer numbers. Yeah, definitely communists.

ProudHillbilly said...

I'll take Hale Caesar.