Saturday, November 15, 2014

Tar & Feathers

We need to bring that back.  Bumptious and jumped-up pencil-pushers that trod upon a body's liberty in this country used to be set up by a mob.  The offending bureaucrat was then stripped nekkid in front of God and everybody, nigh-scalding hot tar was poured over their bodies, and they were breaded like a cutlet, but in feathers rather than a delicous mix of flour, bread crumbs, cornmeal, parmesian cheese, and spices.  Then, more often than not, a festive parade led by the now odiferous official, riding a fence rail, proceeded to the city limits.

Now, I am not saying we pour hot roofing tar over some PTA member, an alderman, or town councilperson.  That is bodily harm.  No, I realize we are too squeamish to do such in this day an age.  We want a mob, not a lynch mob, right?  Besides, it's hard to lay your hands on a hot roofing tar and a feather pillow at Wal Mart.  What CAN you get easily most anywhere?  Maple Syrup and blown-in roofing insulation. 

Looks like they could have used that agin these busybodies.


joethefatman said...

I can get roofing or coal tar and a trailerable pot. As for feathers, not a problem. There are several chicken farms not far from me. So don't count those out. lol

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

I'd rather not burn them, and fiberglass is the gift that keeps on giving.

joethefatman said...

Coal tar it is then. It's soft at 85F and really runny at 100F.

Don't worry, I'm too fat old and slow to be serious.

Sean D Sorrentino said...

It was never roofing tar. It was pine tar. It was humiliation, not murder.

ProudHillbilly said...

Bet they would have been fine with tokin' pot. Even though it is inhalation of particulates into the lungs.

Jerry The Geek said...

I realize this was posted as a "spoof".

But let's talk about "tar and feather".

It's not the humiliation of being toted through the public fair wearing feathers; it's the hot tar that kills.

At the temperature that makes tar liquid (more or less), it's too hot for the human body to accommodate.

Strips the skin off, it does. Torture, leading to death, it is.

I suspect you're not really advocating torturing the people with differing political views.

We need to be careful about the humor thingie.

Remember, we're not dealing with people who have a sense of humor.

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

That's exactly why I am a "syrup and fiberglass" advocate, Jerry. Annoying, non-lethal, itchy.

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

I don't want them to die, I want them to be deterred from doing whatever for 60 years or so.