Thursday, April 11, 2013

The Tax Man

Vote O'Malley, 2016.  You'll LOVE him as President.

Him and his tax on rain. 

Yes, taxed the rain.   The stuff that falls from the sky.  Did any of that water get on you?  You owe the state money, then.

  "storm management fee" will be imposed on Maryland residents by Gov. Martin O'Malley — meaning that Maryland is essentially going to tax the rain that falls on people’s property. The bill apparently stems from an order from the Environmental Protection Agency to clean up the Chesapeake Bay estuary. The rationale is that since "roofs, driveways and carparks create more potential for drainage problems and water contamination," a fundraising fee will be assessed based on the size of the building and surrounding paved surfaces. We're guessing Phase 2 of the plan involves literally taking the food out of Maryland residents' mouths to sell.

Why, oh WHY did I put a driveway in?

Let me tell you how it will be
There's one for you, nineteen for me
'Cause I'm the taxman, yeah, I'm the taxman

Should five per cent appear too small
Be thankful I don't take it all
'Cause I'm the taxman, yeah I'm the taxman

If you drive a car, I'll tax the street,
If you try to sit, I'll tax your seat.
If you get too cold I'll tax the heat,
If you take a walk, I'll tax your feet.

If the clouds grow gray I'll tax the rain
Even if you squeal, I'll increase the pain

Cuz he's the taxman. O'Malley, the rights quashing taxman.

The idea is to limit runoff from impervious surfaces that then go to the Chesapeake.  This was done in a sort of partnership with Obama's EPA.  So, roofs, patios, driveways, like they said.  The only good thing about it is the last time Google-Sat did a flyover and took a snap of my yard from space the tree obscured the driveway area, and the dirveway wasn't finished.  I may get a reprieve of one year before my rain tax goes way up.   I'd do it again.  Better runoff into the street than runoff into my basement and down the drain.

And O'Malley OH so WANTS to be PRESIDENT.   More than anything in the whole world.  Even more than that puppy he wanted Santa to bring him when he was 4 but instead Santa brought him his parents divorce.  It's why he passed gun control laws.  Everyone knows that's an electoral winner come Novemember. 


New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

How do they figure out the paved areas? Google maps satellite pics, of course.

Laura said...


Chris said...

Like Ringo Starr said, "Everything the government touches turns to shit."

Marty said...

Didn't I read somewhere that they were also restricting rain catchment systems? Even simple rain barrels for use in the garden.