Sunday, May 17, 2020

Tar and Feathers

How come that went out of favor?  Tar and feathers. I feel like that could make a comeback.  I would properly re-focus recalcitrant officials.

"It went out of favor. T-Bolt, because it is felonious assault and battery.  You don't see as many fist fights these days, either."

Yeah yeah, I know about that.  Crime and all.  And if you were to tar and feather a governor, say, well that governor has a whole State Police infrastructure to draw on, after.  Sub optimal.  You have to have the law enforcement apparatus sort of on your side to pull this off.

"You know those people were stripped nekkid and SCALDING hot pitch was poured on them, right, T-Bolt?  Serious injury potential."

Yeah.  Agreed.  But modern problems can require modern solutions.  Instead of severe burns, maybe use a room temperature construction adhesive for the stickum.  Or gallons of maple syrup!  And feathers aren't as readily available now.  How bout blown pink fiberglass insulation?  It won't kill, but you'll wish you were dead for a few days from all the itching.  Failing that... dried onion bits?  Source from home centers or grocery stores

Victim selection is very important.  You have to pick someone pretty universally disliked.  No one liked tax collectors 250 years ago.  They had no real constituency.  If you 'tar and feather' a Governor Cuomo or Whitmer, for example, for killing grandma, expect some swampy group of Antifa types to return the favor to a Senator Cruz or Representative Scalise at a future date, for not passing a Universal Basic Income bill. 

So who would be universally disliked and a proper candidate to get coated with Corning insulation these days?   I can think of plenty of pols I personally dislike, but they all have hordes of people that DO like them.

So, maybe you are right.  It's not a very workable scenario.

1 comment:

riverrider said...

what the history books don't tell you is that after t&f, they chased them down the street with torches. if they caught them the featheree was lit. truly gruesome death.